Helping Children Adjust to Divorce
![Picture](/uploads/1/4/3/8/14382586/5099872.jpg?1)
The Family: A Proclamation to the World teaches the vital role of the family “as the fundamental unit of society.” Yet an important personal and family strength is the ability to adapt to less than ideal circumstances, such as those surrounding divorce. Parents who place their children first can protect them to some degree from the most harmful effects of divorce.
Current research is mixed about the effects of divorce on children. Some researchers argue that divorce is traumatic for a child of any age while others argue that divorce is a relatively minor setback for most children. We do know that all children of divorced parents experience some measure of difficulties above and beyond the normal challenges of childhood.
While adults may view divorce as an escape from a negative situation, children typically view the divorce of their parents very differently. For children, a divorce means their entire world is changing. They may feel they are losing their parents.
Research indicates that many of the harmful effects of divorce can be lessened when parents make a concerted effort to keep the best interests of their children as their first priority. Here are some ideas that can help children adjust to divorce:
Photo above found at http://placerfamilyinstitute.org/news-and-articles/support-group-for-kids-of-divorce-in-sacramento-roseville-rocklin-granite-bay-citrus-heights-orangevale/
Current research is mixed about the effects of divorce on children. Some researchers argue that divorce is traumatic for a child of any age while others argue that divorce is a relatively minor setback for most children. We do know that all children of divorced parents experience some measure of difficulties above and beyond the normal challenges of childhood.
While adults may view divorce as an escape from a negative situation, children typically view the divorce of their parents very differently. For children, a divorce means their entire world is changing. They may feel they are losing their parents.
Research indicates that many of the harmful effects of divorce can be lessened when parents make a concerted effort to keep the best interests of their children as their first priority. Here are some ideas that can help children adjust to divorce:
- Maintain a stable routine. Children feel more secure when there is consistency and predictability in their lives. Continue routines such as bedtime rituals, reading books together, and celebrating birthdays and holidays. Make every effort to keep children in the same school and neighborhood.
- Help children share and deal with their feelings. Children of divorcing parents experience a wide range of emotions, including fear, sadness, anger, guilt, rejection, and loneliness. Your children will need time to mourn their lost family and adjust to new circumstances. Outbursts of anger, such as tantrums and shouting, are normal. Encourage your children to talk about their feelings by acknowledging their feelings and empathizing with them. Offering solutions is not always necessary. Just hearing your children out can be helpful. For very young children, talking about feelings is difficult. They might communicate more easily by drawing a picture. If your children don’t want to talk to you, encourage them to talk with someone else, such as a teacher, family friend, or another family member (aunt, grandmother, grandfather).
- Reassure children that the divorce is not their fault. Many children believe they are the cause of their parents’ divorce. Often they think that if they had behaved better or done better in school, Mom and Dad would still be together. Reassure your child that the divorce is not his fault. The decision to divorce is made by adults, not by children. Parents should never blame a child for a divorce. They should also be careful that family matters are not discussed within hearing of children. If a child overhears conversations, he can easily misinterpret what is said. When telling your child about the divorce, and in all conversations thereafter, be sure to choose your words with sensitivity and care.
- Practice positive discipline. Positive and consistent discipline is essential for raising healthy children. The guilt that some divorced parents feel sometimes causes them to indulge their children, which can compound the harmful effects of divorce. Children thrive under loving, positive discipline, so be sure you set proper limits and provide guidance. Be clear about what behavior is acceptable, what is not acceptable, and what the consequences are for non-compliance. Consistently impose consequences. Also, listen to your children and work together as you set limits and make compromises when you disagree. Be sure you recognize good behavior and praise your children often.
- Keep both parents involved. Shared custody usually serves children best, as long as parents can negotiate and get along. Parents who are constantly in conflict, however, make shared custody miserable for children. Whatever the living arrangement, each parent should encourage involvement of the other. Work as a team to ensure that the needs of each child is met. While this might be difficult, remember that your children didn’t make the decision to divorce, and it is your obligation to make sure the effects of that decision cause the least hurt possible. Each parent should keep the other informed about each child. Instruct schools to send information to both homes. Research indicates that non-residential fathers are more likely to continue both contact and child support when they feel they have their share of control over decision making.
- Help children maintain positive relationships with both parents. Understand that children want both their parents. When your child wants to spend time with the other parent, don’t see it as rejection of you but as a healthy desire to stay connected to both Mom and Dad. Encourage your children to enjoy time with the other parent. When they come back, encourage them to talk freely about what they did and share in their happiness when they had a good time. Help your child acknowledge birthdays and special occasions for the other parent. If you support the parenting of the other partner, you’ll make it easier for him or her to have a good relationship with your children, which is healthy for them.
- Don’t put your child in the middle—allow him to love both parents. Your child wants to love both Mom and Dad. Do not put him in a situation where he has to choose between you or your ex-spouse. Asking your child “Do you want to live with me or your daddy?” puts your child in a no-win situation, because by choosing one parent he is forced to reject the other.
- Don’t use your child as a go-between. Don’t send messages to your ex-spouse through your child or ask your child for information about your ex-spouse. Keep adult communications direct between adults. Control your emotions and restrain yourself from saying negative things about the other parent in front of your child. If your child complains about his other parent, encourage him to talk directly with that parent.
- Allow your child to be a child. Children need their parents to be the grownups. While some responsibility is great for children, they should not be expected to counsel you, comfort you, make meals for the family, or be your sounding board about important decisions. Take stock of the responsibilities that you have given your child, and make sure the tasks are appropriate. Parents are supposed to support their children, not the other way around. Don’t burden your child with information that she is too young to handle, and don’t depend on her as though she were a peer. Rely on friends and family of your own age and maturity.
- Spend time with your child. Spend one-on-one time with each child regularly. While time demands are tremendous for single parents, spending focused time with each child is invaluable to their growth and development. Be an “askable” and approachable parent. Let your child know that he can always come to you with any concerns he may have. Tell your child often that he will continue to be loved and taken care of.
Photo above found at http://placerfamilyinstitute.org/news-and-articles/support-group-for-kids-of-divorce-in-sacramento-roseville-rocklin-granite-bay-citrus-heights-orangevale/
Adjustment Factors
![Picture](/uploads/1/4/3/8/14382586/5888629.jpg?1)
By Christina McGhee
There are numerous factors, which affect how children are able to cope with divorce. Some of those factors we can influence through our own actions, others we may have no control over. Researchers have estimated that the period of adjustment for families can range anywhere from one to three years, and sometimes even as long as five, depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce.
It is important for parents to realize children will have different types of reactions. Some may be short-term reactions that are in response to the crisis nature of divorce. Others may be long-term reactions that could be either positive or negative depending again on how parents are able to help their children.
Some factors that may affect adjustment are:
One of the most significant factors affecting the adjustment of children is the level of conflict between parents. Exposing children to constant fighting, criticism of the other parent or heated custody battles can be very damaging. When parents are able to put their individual differences aside and cooperate, adjustment of the children will significantly improve. Don't allow the other parent's actions to affect your relationship with your child. Even though you may have an uncooperative ex-spouse, you can choose to avoid conflicts, maintain a "businesslike" relationship and be a stable, positive influence in your children's lives.
How parents adjust to divorce
One of the largest determining factors in how well children adjust to divorce is how well parents adjust to divorce. Children will look to their parents for signs that the family can and will get through this. Therefore, parents need to role model appropriate and healthy ways to deal with the many feelings that surround divorce. Parents can also work towards re-establishing a sense of family through providing consistency and structure. Bottom line, the choices you make can and will tremendously impact the lives of your children. Positive choices will serve your children far better.
Information children are given regarding the divorce
To assure your children receive information that is supportive and helpful, keep the following factors in mind.
Age and developmental level of child
Many parents want to know when divorce occurs, at what age does it least effect children. In actuality there is no best age for divorce to happen. Each age and stage of development presents different issues and challenges. Parents should familiarize themselves with characteristics of normal child development while paying attention to changes in their child's behavior.
Level of support
Following a separation or divorce, it is helpful to minimize the changes in your children's environment. Because divorce can leave a child feeling anxious or insecure, maintaining the familiarity of school, outside activities or neighborhood friends can be helpful. Also, make sure your children are able to maintain contact with significant extended family members on both sides. Children need to have someone safe they feel comfortable talking to about how they are feeling. This doesn't necessarily need to be a professional it could be a neighbor, troop leader, pastor, teacher or school counselor. Check out area schools and religious organizations for supportive programs offered to children and families with divorce issues.
Child's personality
Children will respond to situations and circumstance in a variety of ways. Even children within the same family are going to respond to divorce differently. Some children are better able to cope with stressful situations; others may deal with stress by acting out or withdrawing. Most importantly pay attention to the clues your child is giving you through their behavior. If you are noticing drastic changes in their behavior or if the behavior is persistent (lasting 6 months or longer) consider seeking out professional help.
Child's ability to deal with stress
Just as children have different personalities they also all have different ways of coping with stress. Some children are more resilient than others and may be more capable of dealing with the stress generated by divorce. Clearly, your child will benefit greatly if you can help them find healthy ways of coping with their feelings as well as stress. Also, keep the lines of communication open between you and your kids.
Photo above found at http://www.islamicity.com/articles/Articles.asp?ref=IC1007-4226
There are numerous factors, which affect how children are able to cope with divorce. Some of those factors we can influence through our own actions, others we may have no control over. Researchers have estimated that the period of adjustment for families can range anywhere from one to three years, and sometimes even as long as five, depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce.
It is important for parents to realize children will have different types of reactions. Some may be short-term reactions that are in response to the crisis nature of divorce. Others may be long-term reactions that could be either positive or negative depending again on how parents are able to help their children.
Some factors that may affect adjustment are:
- Level of conflict between parents
- How parents adjust to divorce
- Information children are given regarding the divorce
- Level of support available to child
- Childs personality
- Childs ability to deal with stress
- Age and developmental level of children
- Level of conflict between parents
One of the most significant factors affecting the adjustment of children is the level of conflict between parents. Exposing children to constant fighting, criticism of the other parent or heated custody battles can be very damaging. When parents are able to put their individual differences aside and cooperate, adjustment of the children will significantly improve. Don't allow the other parent's actions to affect your relationship with your child. Even though you may have an uncooperative ex-spouse, you can choose to avoid conflicts, maintain a "businesslike" relationship and be a stable, positive influence in your children's lives.
How parents adjust to divorce
One of the largest determining factors in how well children adjust to divorce is how well parents adjust to divorce. Children will look to their parents for signs that the family can and will get through this. Therefore, parents need to role model appropriate and healthy ways to deal with the many feelings that surround divorce. Parents can also work towards re-establishing a sense of family through providing consistency and structure. Bottom line, the choices you make can and will tremendously impact the lives of your children. Positive choices will serve your children far better.
Information children are given regarding the divorce
To assure your children receive information that is supportive and helpful, keep the following factors in mind.
- Be sure children know they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault.
- Keep information age appropriate
- Address children immediate concerns (i.e., where are we going to live, will I go to the same school...?)
- Minimize conflict with other parent. Avoid verbal retaliations.
- Never discuss grownup issues with children such as court matters, child support, finances or intimate details regarding the divorce.
- Avoid placing blame on the other parent or telling children your side of the story
Age and developmental level of child
Many parents want to know when divorce occurs, at what age does it least effect children. In actuality there is no best age for divorce to happen. Each age and stage of development presents different issues and challenges. Parents should familiarize themselves with characteristics of normal child development while paying attention to changes in their child's behavior.
Level of support
Following a separation or divorce, it is helpful to minimize the changes in your children's environment. Because divorce can leave a child feeling anxious or insecure, maintaining the familiarity of school, outside activities or neighborhood friends can be helpful. Also, make sure your children are able to maintain contact with significant extended family members on both sides. Children need to have someone safe they feel comfortable talking to about how they are feeling. This doesn't necessarily need to be a professional it could be a neighbor, troop leader, pastor, teacher or school counselor. Check out area schools and religious organizations for supportive programs offered to children and families with divorce issues.
Child's personality
Children will respond to situations and circumstance in a variety of ways. Even children within the same family are going to respond to divorce differently. Some children are better able to cope with stressful situations; others may deal with stress by acting out or withdrawing. Most importantly pay attention to the clues your child is giving you through their behavior. If you are noticing drastic changes in their behavior or if the behavior is persistent (lasting 6 months or longer) consider seeking out professional help.
Child's ability to deal with stress
Just as children have different personalities they also all have different ways of coping with stress. Some children are more resilient than others and may be more capable of dealing with the stress generated by divorce. Clearly, your child will benefit greatly if you can help them find healthy ways of coping with their feelings as well as stress. Also, keep the lines of communication open between you and your kids.
Photo above found at http://www.islamicity.com/articles/Articles.asp?ref=IC1007-4226
Helping a Child Adjust to Divorce
![Picture](/uploads/1/4/3/8/14382586/9488745.jpg?384)
By KJ DELL'ANTONIA
Last week, reader M. asked other readers, divorced parents and children of divorce, to weigh in on the monthly dinners she and her ex-husband have been having with their 4-year-old. M. and her spouse divorced last fall, when their daughter was 3, and instituted the dinners a few months later.
Their daughter seems to enjoy the dinners, M. wrote, but afterwards, she “has appeared sad and confused.” Were the dinners, M. asked, really a great idea, or were they just making her daughter’s transition to their new life even harder?
M. read every comment, from those who questioned her decision to divorce at all, to those who had seen now-adult children through divorce, to those who just tried to put the issue in perspective, like VB, who asked, “What are you trying to accomplish for your daughter with these dinners?”
It was, M. said, truly helpful.
A lot of people commented on or asked about the 50-50 custody arrangement. We chose this because our daughter is very attached to both of us and we felt it would be painful for her to see one of us less than the other. I think there would be no way for her to avoid the conclusion that one of us wanted her less. We live very close by and the transfers are simple and don’t seem to stress her out. Right now, we are on a split week schedule. At her age and with her temperament, it would be hard for her to wait for a month or even a week to see the other parent. We anticipate that the schedule might change as she grows older. Also, we work hard to be on the same page about rules, routines, etc., so that her experience in her two homes, though not identical, is quite consistent.
As for the dinners, it seems like some commenters felt we should ride it out and she’d adjust, and others felt we should stop because it’s hard for her. The question “Why are you doing this?” is an important one for us to consider. We decided to do it because we wanted her to see that we get along, she need never choose between us or hide feelings from either of us, and that we are both still cooperatively raising her even though we are divorced. However, after reading some of the comments I started to wonder if we can just as easily get this across by being friendly at the custody transfers, and doing birthdays and other special occasions together, without having the stressful dinners. We also may do the occasional non-dinner outing, as some suggested. We’ll probably take a break from the dinners and see how things go.
Thanks to all who helped M. think about where her family is, and where they want to be.
Photo above found at http://divorcecures.com
Last week, reader M. asked other readers, divorced parents and children of divorce, to weigh in on the monthly dinners she and her ex-husband have been having with their 4-year-old. M. and her spouse divorced last fall, when their daughter was 3, and instituted the dinners a few months later.
Their daughter seems to enjoy the dinners, M. wrote, but afterwards, she “has appeared sad and confused.” Were the dinners, M. asked, really a great idea, or were they just making her daughter’s transition to their new life even harder?
M. read every comment, from those who questioned her decision to divorce at all, to those who had seen now-adult children through divorce, to those who just tried to put the issue in perspective, like VB, who asked, “What are you trying to accomplish for your daughter with these dinners?”
It was, M. said, truly helpful.
A lot of people commented on or asked about the 50-50 custody arrangement. We chose this because our daughter is very attached to both of us and we felt it would be painful for her to see one of us less than the other. I think there would be no way for her to avoid the conclusion that one of us wanted her less. We live very close by and the transfers are simple and don’t seem to stress her out. Right now, we are on a split week schedule. At her age and with her temperament, it would be hard for her to wait for a month or even a week to see the other parent. We anticipate that the schedule might change as she grows older. Also, we work hard to be on the same page about rules, routines, etc., so that her experience in her two homes, though not identical, is quite consistent.
As for the dinners, it seems like some commenters felt we should ride it out and she’d adjust, and others felt we should stop because it’s hard for her. The question “Why are you doing this?” is an important one for us to consider. We decided to do it because we wanted her to see that we get along, she need never choose between us or hide feelings from either of us, and that we are both still cooperatively raising her even though we are divorced. However, after reading some of the comments I started to wonder if we can just as easily get this across by being friendly at the custody transfers, and doing birthdays and other special occasions together, without having the stressful dinners. We also may do the occasional non-dinner outing, as some suggested. We’ll probably take a break from the dinners and see how things go.
Thanks to all who helped M. think about where her family is, and where they want to be.
Photo above found at http://divorcecures.com
Website Resources
![Picture](/uploads/1/4/3/8/14382586/9099135.jpg?0)
HealthyChildren.org- Adjusting to Divorce
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/types-of-families/pages/Adjusting-to-Divorce.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token
Divorce can be hard on everyone especially the children that are involved. Healthychildren.org have given some great tips and advice on their website to help parents help their children through this difficult time in their lives. The website states that how you treat your spouse before, during, and after really affect your child when it comes to divorce. Parents need to work together to make a good transition for the children. They recommend setting aside your differences and really focusing on the children and putting them first. Healthychildren.org advices Never force your child to take sides, Do not involve your child in arguments, Do not criticize each other in front of your child, Discuss your concerns and feelings with your child's other parent and Avoid fighting in front of your child. When you talk early and often when your children it makes the transition easier on them, have your children share how they feel as they are going through this process. It is recommended on healthychildren.org to follow these 4 guidelines: Be completely honest and open, Make sure your child knows the divorce is not his fault, Try not to blame your ex-spouse and be patient with their questions. The last pointers this website gives to make the transition easier is to respect the relationship your child has with the other parent, keep their daily schedule the same, and ask for outside support fro friends, grandparents, and teachers. If parents can get along and put their differences aside and really focus on the children it will make divorce easier on the child and will not affect them as much as it could.
PsychPage-Children of Divorce and Adjustment
http://www.psychpage.com/family/childrenadjust.html
Psych Page gives some really useful information with helping children cope with divorce. The website states that there is not a consistent effect that divorce has on all children and all ages of children. Older children tend to be more sensitive to family disagreements and feel as though they need to step in and get involved in the conflict, as younger children do not. Younger children do however seem to be higher risk for long term effects divorce has on them due to the fact they are not able to make sense of everything happening and express their emotions accurately. Psych Page does state that it depends on the child’s strengths and demands in specific situation. They have a chart on their website regarding how children’s ages effect the short term and long term effects divorce has on them. Having an Authoritative parenting style within the first two years is very important when going through a divorce. Parents need to be flexible and allow children to make decisions as long as they are in accordance with the family rules. It also states that it is important that you consider the three types of parenting styles and consider the effects and which is best for the children going through a divorce and determine which one offers the most support for the child going through the divorce. When parents are fighting and going through conflict children see this and when they are exposed to it they soak up everything just as if they were a sponge. When parents are fighting in front of children they have many emotions such as conflict, anger, apathy, and alienation. When parents show better emotional adjustment after divorce so do the kids. The last important tip that the Psych Page offers is when parents come to an agreement each parent needs to stick with it, kids will have less anxiety, insecurity, and distress. (Niolon, R., PhD. 2010, September 19)
Photo above found at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8070122/Lawyers-to-be-kept-out-of-divorce-battles.html
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/types-of-families/pages/Adjusting-to-Divorce.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token
Divorce can be hard on everyone especially the children that are involved. Healthychildren.org have given some great tips and advice on their website to help parents help their children through this difficult time in their lives. The website states that how you treat your spouse before, during, and after really affect your child when it comes to divorce. Parents need to work together to make a good transition for the children. They recommend setting aside your differences and really focusing on the children and putting them first. Healthychildren.org advices Never force your child to take sides, Do not involve your child in arguments, Do not criticize each other in front of your child, Discuss your concerns and feelings with your child's other parent and Avoid fighting in front of your child. When you talk early and often when your children it makes the transition easier on them, have your children share how they feel as they are going through this process. It is recommended on healthychildren.org to follow these 4 guidelines: Be completely honest and open, Make sure your child knows the divorce is not his fault, Try not to blame your ex-spouse and be patient with their questions. The last pointers this website gives to make the transition easier is to respect the relationship your child has with the other parent, keep their daily schedule the same, and ask for outside support fro friends, grandparents, and teachers. If parents can get along and put their differences aside and really focus on the children it will make divorce easier on the child and will not affect them as much as it could.
PsychPage-Children of Divorce and Adjustment
http://www.psychpage.com/family/childrenadjust.html
Psych Page gives some really useful information with helping children cope with divorce. The website states that there is not a consistent effect that divorce has on all children and all ages of children. Older children tend to be more sensitive to family disagreements and feel as though they need to step in and get involved in the conflict, as younger children do not. Younger children do however seem to be higher risk for long term effects divorce has on them due to the fact they are not able to make sense of everything happening and express their emotions accurately. Psych Page does state that it depends on the child’s strengths and demands in specific situation. They have a chart on their website regarding how children’s ages effect the short term and long term effects divorce has on them. Having an Authoritative parenting style within the first two years is very important when going through a divorce. Parents need to be flexible and allow children to make decisions as long as they are in accordance with the family rules. It also states that it is important that you consider the three types of parenting styles and consider the effects and which is best for the children going through a divorce and determine which one offers the most support for the child going through the divorce. When parents are fighting and going through conflict children see this and when they are exposed to it they soak up everything just as if they were a sponge. When parents are fighting in front of children they have many emotions such as conflict, anger, apathy, and alienation. When parents show better emotional adjustment after divorce so do the kids. The last important tip that the Psych Page offers is when parents come to an agreement each parent needs to stick with it, kids will have less anxiety, insecurity, and distress. (Niolon, R., PhD. 2010, September 19)
Photo above found at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8070122/Lawyers-to-be-kept-out-of-divorce-battles.html
Divorce within families is more and more common these days. Each person can think of someone they may know that is affected by divorce. When going through a divorce the children should be the main concern and all decisions made should be for the benefit of the children. This is why this topic was chosen, to explore divorce and how it affects the children involved.
The articles were chosen because they really focused on what divorce for a child was like. The articles gave advice on how divorce could be easier to cope with for the child. The child should be the top priority when parents decide to go through a divorce. Each child is different, but the way the parents handle the situation is how the child will likely handle it. ( Tanner, K. )
The Pictures were chosen because were based on how many children look at divorce. The first picture is a mom and dad’s picture being torn in half. This is how kids visualize divorce, the world that they know now being torn in half. The picture in the middle is of The last picture chosen is a child with headphones on as the parents are fighting in the background. No child needs to listen to their mom and dad fight, but sadly enough most kids have to listen to it. He is trying so hard to not hear it, but he still does, but is still frustrated because he can still hear.
The websites were chosen because they gave really great recommendations and advice on how to benefit the children the most. Healthychildren.org stated that divorce effects the children based on how you treat your spouse before, during, and after. This website gives great advice on how to best help the children cope with the transition. They encourage children to share their feelings and encourage parents to allow this to happen (Healthychildren.org). The Psych Page website also states that it really depends on the individual child on how they are effected by divorce. One thing is certain that children are affected by how the parents are, if parents are emotional and struggling with divorce, the kids will as well, if parents are strong and move on, the kids will acquire this same attitude.
The articles were chosen because they really focused on what divorce for a child was like. The articles gave advice on how divorce could be easier to cope with for the child. The child should be the top priority when parents decide to go through a divorce. Each child is different, but the way the parents handle the situation is how the child will likely handle it. ( Tanner, K. )
The Pictures were chosen because were based on how many children look at divorce. The first picture is a mom and dad’s picture being torn in half. This is how kids visualize divorce, the world that they know now being torn in half. The picture in the middle is of The last picture chosen is a child with headphones on as the parents are fighting in the background. No child needs to listen to their mom and dad fight, but sadly enough most kids have to listen to it. He is trying so hard to not hear it, but he still does, but is still frustrated because he can still hear.
The websites were chosen because they gave really great recommendations and advice on how to benefit the children the most. Healthychildren.org stated that divorce effects the children based on how you treat your spouse before, during, and after. This website gives great advice on how to best help the children cope with the transition. They encourage children to share their feelings and encourage parents to allow this to happen (Healthychildren.org). The Psych Page website also states that it really depends on the individual child on how they are effected by divorce. One thing is certain that children are affected by how the parents are, if parents are emotional and struggling with divorce, the kids will as well, if parents are strong and move on, the kids will acquire this same attitude.
Emerging Issues...
Divorce within families in the United States is
becoming more and more common. Twenty years ago it was rare for a mom and dad
to separate and in a child’s eye break up the family structure with how they
were raised. Now, it seems as though a handful of kids in every classroom
either has been involved in a divorce through his parents or another family
member. How can this nation help kids to cope better with this for future
generations to succeed in what is failing now?
The best strategy to stop this epidemic of children having to cope with divorce is to teach children to never give up. This process starts early within the home, to not allow a child to stop trying. When kids are picking up there toys and saying it is too hard, do not let them stop, instead help them to lighten the burden. When they are not the starter on the football team and get frustrated because they are not playing as much as they would like, do not allow them to quit, tell them to dig deeper and to try harder. Teach this rising generation that failure and giving up is not an option. Allow them to look at the things they have accomplished as successes and allow them to reflect upon the hard things they have done in life so they will be able to within the pressure of giving up in a marriage when it becomes to difficult.
At this time and at the rate this country is going, every child will be exposed to divorce in their life, whether it be through parents, grandparents, or siblings by the time they are 10. The rising generation needs to know that they are loved even if they have to be exposed to a divorce, they need to know it is not their fault, and that everyone involved loves them. They need to have counseling available to them to talk about the problems they are facing and they need to know they are not alone. These are the issues that are coming of divorce, divorce is like the domino effect, the children need to know they are strong enough to with stand this and face the challenge of never giving up.
The best strategy to stop this epidemic of children having to cope with divorce is to teach children to never give up. This process starts early within the home, to not allow a child to stop trying. When kids are picking up there toys and saying it is too hard, do not let them stop, instead help them to lighten the burden. When they are not the starter on the football team and get frustrated because they are not playing as much as they would like, do not allow them to quit, tell them to dig deeper and to try harder. Teach this rising generation that failure and giving up is not an option. Allow them to look at the things they have accomplished as successes and allow them to reflect upon the hard things they have done in life so they will be able to within the pressure of giving up in a marriage when it becomes to difficult.
At this time and at the rate this country is going, every child will be exposed to divorce in their life, whether it be through parents, grandparents, or siblings by the time they are 10. The rising generation needs to know that they are loved even if they have to be exposed to a divorce, they need to know it is not their fault, and that everyone involved loves them. They need to have counseling available to them to talk about the problems they are facing and they need to know they are not alone. These are the issues that are coming of divorce, divorce is like the domino effect, the children need to know they are strong enough to with stand this and face the challenge of never giving up.